Collapse
by M a i H a r u
Summary: Axel has been acting stranger than usual and Roxas is unable to find out why. Will the truth make the heart grow stronger or will it all just collapse?


It had been three days since I had last seen Axel. He'd been gone for longer than this before so I wasn't worried. Well … not too worried. To be honest I was always worried when Axel went out on a mission but I'm sure he felt the same. It's not uncommon when you never really know when it's going to be the last time.

However what really worried me was Axel's behavior. Lately he's been a bit off, kind of distant…

I decided to go down to the so-called "living room" in order to pass the time. Maybe Demyx or Xigbar were free, I could use something to keep my mind off of the potential danger Axel was facing. When I reached my destination I was disappointed to find no one but Saix standing looking over what I assumed were mission notes. Sighing I drudged over to him, maybe I could at least get some information on how Axel's mission was going.

I approached him cautiously as I always did (it was hard to approach some of the other members of the Organization, you never know whose happy and who isn't).

I coughed once and asked tentatively, "Saix I wanted to ask you about Axel's mission-"

However Saix interrrupted abruptly "Ah, number VIII? If I recall he got back yesterday morning."

I stood there somewhat dumbstruck at what number VII had just informed me.

"Y-ye-yesterday? Y-yesterday morning? Axel?! Are you sure?"

"If we're talking about VIII, yes. I hope you aren't questioning my intelligence number XIII."

"N-no! Of course not! I'm just … I thought that … he would've told me. I mean he's been going on quite a few missions lately and so-"

Saix decided to interrupt once more in a slightly more exasperated tone than usual,

"Number XIII what are you talking about? Axel has not been on any missions as of late. Is a matter of fact, this last mission has been the only been assigned to him in weeks."

Wide eyed I stared at Saix like he had just told me I was pregnant!

"WEEKS?! B-but he told me, Axel said, are you-"

"Yes, I'm 100% sure number XII. Now if you'll excuse me I have more important things to deal with apart from your incessant ramblings. Good afternoon."

Saix then departed from the infinity room leaving me alone to somehow process the information he ever so casually bestowed.

Over and over I replayed the possible reasons as to why Axel wouldn't have told me that he came back while moving throughout castle oblivion. Not even noticing some of the other members he passed.

Was he sick? … Nah he'd rather barf on the blonde than leave him alone.

Maybe he was changed? That can't be it either

Then what was it? Why wouldn't Axel come to see him?

I then decided to ask Axel myself what the hell was going on! I quickly ran to his room in hopes he would be there with an explanation.

When I got there, I was just about to knock on the door when a loud feminine moan of Axel's name stopped me.

I-it couldn't be. Axel was … I opened the door just a sliver and was horrified to find what can only be explained as Axel and Larxene in the throws of passion.

Caressing and kissing each other completely enraptured in what they were doing, not even noticing when the little blonde closed the door and ran away blinded by the tears running freely down his cheeks.

Axel had cheated on him.

Axel **was** cheating on him.

I cried myself to sleep that night not even caring if the entire Castle of Oblivion could hear me.

XXXXX

For the next few weeks I had begged Saix to give me as many mission as possible. He happily obliged and I became so busy I was hardly home.

Although now that Axel was gone it wasn't really home was it?

I hadn't cried at all since that night. I don't even remember eating or sleeping much either. I almost felt like I didn't need them. Almost like I wasn't even human.

When I came back from a mission Xigbar told me Axel had been looking for me but that didn't stop me.

I couldn't stop because if I did. If I saw him, I would break down, I know I would.

It wasn't until the fourth week after I saw what I had deemed in my mind, "the ending", that I got a break. Well more like forced to have a break.

My mission was with Demyx , just we were about to leave through the portal to Olympus when I collapsed. I guess it was only a matter of time since I couldn't really remember the last time I slept or ate.

When I finally woke up I could hear talking. I blinked once and whatever blurriness was left, replacing it with blinding white walls.

I groaned and Demyx popped up in my field of vision and spoke quietly, well quietly for Demyx anyway, "Zexy! He's awake! Hey Roxas! How're you feeling? How's your head? You feel hungry? You passed out a few days ago and have been asleep ever since! What happened? Axel was pretty worried too but he'll be back later-

I shot up at the mention of Axel's name, "AXEL?! He saw me? Did he say anything?!"

I would've said more but my head started pounding and I lied back down on the bed clutching my pounding noggin.

Zexion walked over and stood beside Demyx. He put his hand on my shoulder and asked very quietly and somewhat concerned, "Roxas did something happen with Axel?"

**I broke.**

Whatever wall that held all that hurt crumbled down and I burst into tears. I desperately clutched onto Zexion's hand and clung to Demyx's shirt as I released all of the emotion and heartache I had been holding back for the past few weeks.

Demyx and Zexion looked at each other fearing the worst. Demyx slowly loosened my grip and then climbed into the bed while pulling me onto his lap, Zexion sat down beside him rubbing soothing circles on my arm.

After I calmed down I slowly explained what had happened. I told them everything from Axel's distance to that horrible scene and how I've been dealing with it all the past few weeks.

XXXXXX

I must've fallen asleep at some point because I ended up waking up between the two of them in Demyx's bed. I smiled at the two of them, somehow feeling better than I had in weeks. I got out of bed slowly and left the room shutting the door as quietly as possible. I walked down the hall to the kitchen hoping to get some food in my stomach after being so starved for so long.

I finally reached the kitchen. Wanting nothing more than to eat 4 weeks worth of food. But before I could even open the fried door.

I felt the presence of someone other than myself in the kitchen. I turned around, half expecting it to be Luxord needing something to ease what headache he had from drinking too much (again).

But fate was not so kind.

"_Axel_. "

Axel didn't notice me at first but soon felt someone staring holes into the back of his head. He turned around from the cupboard he was digging in and looked me directly in the eyes dropping whatever pan he was holding with a loud clang.

He broke out into a smile that almost broke my heart all over again before starting, "Roxas-"

I shook my head tears starting to well up in my eyes, "I- I can't, no".

I turned to leave, to run away but Axel was quicker and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

He exhaled into my hair, "Roxas I was soooo worried. I heard what had happened and I wanted to be there when you woke up but..."

My legs soon gave out and I cried even harder than before. Axel quickly turned me around to see what the matter was, "Roxas! What's wrong? Do you still feel sick?"

I pushed away from him and scrambled to my feet. Looking at him with an almost animalistic fury.

"YOU BASTARD!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face blinding me.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!"

Axel looked at my like I was crazy; he tried to calm me down with a much softer voice than before. Like he was actually trying to speak to a frightened animal.

"Roxie, baby what happened? What's wrong?" He reached out to grab my arm but I slapped it away, not even noticing the flicker of hurt that crossed his eyes.

I glared at him with all of the anger and pain I could muster while shouting as loudly as I could.

"How dare you ask me what's wrong! How dare you say you hold me! How dare you touch me after you touched her!"

Axel stopped trying to approach me. He looked at me in horror and shock, his arms going slack at his sides.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice? When you acted cold to me! When you held her in your bed! In our bed! I saw it, you and her together! How long? How long have you been betraying me? How long have you been stabbing me in the back? A month, two months, a year? How long, Axel?"

Axel didn't answer me he continued to stare at me in shock.

I took a breath, my shoulders shaking as I tried calm down. I looked him in the eyes and asked him, "Why? What did I do wrong? Just … why Axel?" I sank to the floor crying and sobbing, unable to gain the strength to try and keep my head up.

My last words seemed to have triggered some sort of reaction in Axel because before I knew he was kneeling in front of me hands on my shoulders. I wanted to shrug them off but I really had no energy left in me.

"Roxas," Axel pleaded "please look at me." He lifted my chin with his hand in order to make eye contact. I was still crying and hiccupping a little but I didn't fight him.

"Roxas, I- … I'm sorry. I know that, that's not nearly enough but I mean it. More than I've ever meant anything. I don't know what came over me but I promise to never do it again and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get you back. After I didn't hear from you I realized that I couldn't live without you. I didn't see you for weeks and then when I heard you collapsed-"

I slapped his hand away and quickly stood up and looked down at him.

"You what Axel? You rushed to my side? You were worried sick?! Is that what you were gonna say? HUH?! How the hell am I supposed to believe you?!"

I turned away unable to look Axel in the eye. Axel stood up slowly keeping his head down. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Roxas's shoulders burying is face in the blonde locks he loved so much.

"I'm so sorry Roxas, more than you will ever know. I was weak and I didn't resist Larxene when I know should have. I'll definitely regret it for the rest of my life and I know how unlikely it is that you will forgive me but I love you. Even with all of that self doubt I had when I was with her I knew I loved you more than a heartless wretch like me ever could."

Axel clutched a little tighter around Roxas and began to shake slightly. I could feel his tears running down his neck. I know I should have pushed Axel away by now but … I couldn't. I loved him so much I could hardly bear it, somehow I felt his sincerity come across on some level I never knew Axel's words could.

It was then that I knew what was really hurting me, it wasn't the betrayal but the fear Axel didn't love me anymore.

"Axel I- I forgive you," I sighed and some more tears welled up "it's just, I was afraid you didn't want me anymore. That I wasn't enough for you but it'll take awhile for me to trust you completely. I won't forgive you if this happens."

I raised my hands to grip Axel's arms as I started shaking. Axel raised his head and turned me around gently and smiled at me. Nothing short of relief and adoration spreading across his features.

My breathe hitched as he hugged me close to his chest and leaned down to whisper in my ear "I love you Roxas more than anything else in this world or any other. You are more than enough for me, more than I deserve and I swear to remain faithful to you for the remainder of our existence in this life and whatever comes after."

He gently kissed my cheek proceeded to put his face in my hair kissing the top of my head.

I hugged him back crying a little as I nuzzled into his chest. "I love you too Axel and I vow to do the same." I could feel him smile against my hair and he proceeded to hug me even tighter.

We continued to stay like that for a few moments before Demyx and Zexion came into the kitchen. Demyx proceeded to lecture Axel for the next hour about trust and how he didn't deserve me. He was however somewhat more satisfied after dowsing Axel with several of his water clones and Zexion got a chance to hit him over the head with a book.

Now thoroughly wet and with a slight headache Axel let himself be led by me back to his room. Where I applied a bandage and a kiss to his wound as well as a towel to his thoroughly soaked hair.

We spent the rest of the night and next day snuggled up. Arms wrapped around each other sharing only kisses and promises of what would be better days.


End file.
